hai.

hmp. i have made up my mind. this is the last entry from me.

i'm going to close this chapter already laa :)

it is nothing personal. i want to open a whole new bloggie. a whole new me.

hari ni, genap sebulan saya dan Asyraf yang once-beloved lost contact.

finally, he have his beloved girl by his side :')

then, this bloggie was first exist when i'm with him. even i already deleted the post about him, it is better to close this one.

erasing his footprints in my life..

so, basically, it's just a matter of me, myself and i.

until then..

OHH! no study, please!

assalamualaikum. kalau ta jawab dosa, kalau jawab sayang. *gelak minta penampar :3

baru ingat cerita ni bila kakak aku tanya semalam, 

ben, kau ta rasa mau give up study ka?

macam salah orang tu dia tanya. i've thought about it for years! but, what to do, i, too want to have bright future, kan. aiyaya. since when i become Ms-Super-Mature? hmp. 

it comes to more depressing realisation about giving up study when i caught up doodling in Chemistry,

Ms. Low-Volume : Aezalia, awak lukis apa tu? *muka menyampah

Aku : Err, ehmm. Ohh, teda laa, cekgu. *fuck, fuck, fuck!

Ms. Low-Voice : Dari tadi saya nampak awak asyik lukis-lukis je. *more annoyed  

the class become quiet and it's a shame how i didnt realise she was staring at me all the time. like, it is my fault when i suddenly carried away while doodling HEARTshapes on the module? they never train you to taught in such low voice, did they? btw, sorry laa, teacher. but, it just cant be helped, okeyy? plus, i dont have such interest in learning your subject. so, peace no war, babe..

OHH! gosh.

ok. mom and dad's on a trip to Mabul. me, Adeq, nenek, Eman stays at home. and, i almost put this house on fire. i'm dangling on my feet. my mistake. i was about to fry something, so while waiting, i think i better help myself with shawl tutorial. that is when the smoke is helping itself to cover our house with greyness. shit, shit, shit! i saw them burst int flame, you know! in front of my very own eyes. luckily, i got Nenek, my heroin. aiyayayaya. sooner or later, mom and dad will hear about this. it's going to be not good. my bad. aiya. not going to touch the gas stove anymore. *trauma 

OHH! mom's lil girl.

the whole week, i learn so many things, you know. hee. i learn how to sew my own skirts. i even take pictures. someday, when i managed to have kids, i wanna show them. hahahaha. it's a bit messy, but it's way too amazing for a newbie. mom's lil girl did the neddle-thread thingy on her own.

i also learn to heal my wound myself. skinned knees, the most hurtful things during childhood. but still, as i'm growning up, skinned knees is more painful than being abandoned by your-temporarily-the One. ok, i'm lying -.-'

so, with a help of my roomates, i managed to heal in just 4 days. not fully healed, i guess. oh, yeah, them form 2 play like they have never seen a ball before. no worry, i'll buy you guys a ball for each person. that way, you dont have to play hard and push people around to show that you're great enough to catch a ball yang kau rebut among eleven other girls. ok? ughh~ stiill, mom's lil girl did the whole antiseptic-bandage-plasters herself.

i want a boy who'd drop everything and meet me in the pouring rain. like only us matters. i'll wait even it will take me forever to meet that Mr Right..

OHH! di sini.

ego, sakit hati, menyampah. sebab tu ja aku masi ta pulang rumah. alaa. baru dua minggu. aku mau dia, dia dan dia paham apa aku rasa. kalau boleh, selama-lamanya aku ta na pulang. tapi, aku ta da tempat lain, okey? hmm. paling jarang lah muka jahanam aku tu aku na tayang. tahniah lah. orang bertuah ja dapat nampak. TAHNIAH banyak-2! 
buat lagi aku sakit hati banyak-2 ok?

di sini, aku betul-2 rasa macam rumah. bangun ja, on9. ta da sarapan, ta da mandi. hee. kebiasaannya, balik sekolah terus pegi bilik study, tengok movie. hmm. it feels like home. tapi, di sini jugak, aku rasa orang sekeliling mula ta selesa dengan aku. i'm not going to get it right. aku ta tau apa aku da buat. aku ta tau bahagian mana patut aku betulkan. if they're really friends, they'll tell.

baru-2 ni, cupid's arrow reached the target. it shoot straight to my heart. hahaha. there is no such thing. i find that that Blackey was so kind and accidentally fall in like with him. haha, there's no use. my friend made her first move way too fast. she may not tell me. but, i know it all along. guess i had told the wrong person about this feeling. even so, 
this feelings are mine. i have never force that Blackey to be responsible for them. and, i rather heartsick and saw him get along with my friend. 


because it is said to be just for fun. i only find someone to like to forget The One in KoKi. seems like i failed again.

STUDY? doomed! i failed most of evrything. *setakat ini* not going to say anything about the upcoming exams. i got tired of it. it was like, 
we are young, we study, stay up late, we dont sleep, got our friend, got the night, we'll be crazy!
 i really dont sleep. keep revising. result? doom. keberkatan. they taught me this. hell yeah. aku escape surau, escape usrah, escape riadah, ta respect cikgu. is it because of this? idk. idc. someday before spm, i'll get it right.

until the next fucking post. imy, aezm!

OHH! hari ini.

kau sudah ada orang lain. macamana hancurnya kita dulu pun, sampai hari ni aku masi ta dapat terima kau dengan orang lain. habit dulu datang lagi. ta sah hari ku kalau sehari ta stalk profile kau. sesak nafas ku. artery ku macam ta bole pump darah lagi. semua rasanya terpause bila aku tengok gambar tu. mesranya kamu. masa kau dengan aku, ta da lah sampai macam tu. adik kau. siap puji-2 lagi. mesti kau akan bagi kenal tu, kan. dulu, masa dengan kau juga, ta da lah macam tu, kan. series, aku rindu kau. aku ta dapat terima kau dengan orang lain. menyesal. aku harap kita boleh putar balik ulang tahun kelahiran aku yang ke-15. semuanya berubah, sayang. hatiku kau robek-2 :(

OHH! kau.

bodoh! time-2 begini memang aku lemah! lemah! sebab aku mesti ingat pasal kau. sebab kau salah satu yang selalu ada dengan aku. tapi kau jahat! ehh, pergi mampus lah. memang kita ta da apa-2 yang tinggal. cuma kenangan. tapi aku ta pernah fikir yang kita bukan kita yang dulu. urghh. i wish i never knew u. sial lah.

#aku rindu kau sangat.